What’s the Dalai Lama’s secret to happiness? Be kind

If you wish to know methods to be completely happy, I can proudly report that I now know the reply. I participated in “The Dalai Lama’s information to happiness” on the Ten P.c Happier app, and it principally solved the riddle of life.

Kind of.

This system was superbly achieved. It took individuals into the mountains of India (just about) for 10 days of studying and meditation, and on the finish of the expertise, my foremost takeaway was splendidly easy: To be completely happy, be sort. 

The Dalai Lama stated it over and again and again. We are able to’t dwell in our anger and be completely happy and peaceable, too. However “a extra altruistic thoughts brings extra happiness.”  

“Warmheartedness is the important thing issue for a contented life.”

That is so intriguing to me. It’s primary, sure, nevertheless it’s additionally virtually uncomfortably eye-opening. It’s like, yeah, I’m sort, I’ve a heat coronary heart, I’m a great particular person! However am I completely happy?


Not as a lot as I’d wish to be.

I imply, after all, happiness isn’t meant to be felt on a regular basis. The Dalai Lama appears to make use of it interchangeably with contentment. However even in that case — are you content material on a regular basis? 

Or possibly a greater measure is unhappiness. The Dalai Lama, from what I can see from my sofa, appears to not expertise unhappiness. May you say the identical?

All of this acquired me fascinated with what his holiness really means when he talks about warmheartedness and altruism, or in essence, kindness. I’ve to conclude that it is not the fashion that I do know. 

If I’m being trustworthy, I’m sort and beneficiant once I’m within the temper — when nothing has set me off, I’ve had sufficient sleep, I’m not hungry, my home isn’t a big mess. 

I hate to say it, but when I’m not in a great psychological state, kindness is likely one of the first issues to go. I grow to be brief and reactive. Generally I chew. Different instances, it’s extra delicate: I assume the worst, experience a excessive horse and grow to be extremely judgmental. 

However the Dalai Lama has been engaged on this for about 80 years. He talks about his day by day altruism apply and the way he has actively cultivated the ability of warmheartedness all his life. 

This, I’ve concluded, is the important thing.

The model of kindness and compassion that the Dalai Lama is referring to (the type that precipitates enduring happiness / contentment) requires acutely aware tending. Let’s face it, most of us wing it on this division, and that doesn’t do the trick.

There are numerous meditation practices geared toward constructing warmheartedness, however I feel it’s additionally one thing that we may merely prioritize higher in our day after day lives. 

That’s, figuring out what we all know now, we may decide to integrating kindness extra often and deliberately. We may get actually devoted and acutely aware about it. 

Possibly that appears like one “random act” every day or week. Possibly it’s deciding to be vigilant about noticing the instances and locations we’re inclined to show our heat manner down (in large methods and small) and selecting to be fiercer and extra relentless about retaining our compassion on.
See what suits for you, however I get the sense that some sort of dedication and day by day apply right here may very well be good for all of us. The Dalai Lama most likely is onto one thing…

So, even when it takes 80-plus years to essentially get this down, let’s strive. No discouragement, however a number of kindness and compassion for ourselves alongside the best way. 

Marci Izard Sharif is an creator, yoga trainer, meditation facilitator and mom. In Feeling Issues, she writes about self-love, sharing self-care instruments, tales and assets to know and be sort to your self.


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